A Lighthearted Look at the Grey Nomads
'The Old Master' (name withheld for his own safety) has contributed this list in response to his strongly held view on the attitude of some caravanners.
Please note 'The Old Master' is a grey nomad himself and owns a caravan.
If you have any more to add then shoot us an email.
No - Not every Caravan Park, Motel and National Park has to change it's 'No Pets' policy just because you choose to travel with your twin Pekinese Poodles.
Yes - it is hot.
Yes - there are ants, lizards and insects in the caravan/motel/pub.
Yes - it is the tropics.
Yes - the nearest settlement is 400km away.
No - this remote cattle station offering farm-stay for a whole ten bucks a night does not have a 4 person spa.
Yes - fuel is $2.50 a litre.
Yes - it is a Simpson Desert roadhouse.
Yes - it is the only disabled parking bay in town.
Yes - you have parked across it and the three other parking bays in front of the tourist office, in this town of 27 people.
Yes - those other eight people who pulled up in the caravan parking bays, did learn to park their 40 foot monstrosities before they departed Sydney.
No - the world does not owe you anything because you worked hard all your life and now you are retired and touring Australia on a shoestring.
Yes - that woman selling fresh Paypaya at the local Saturday market is charging $3 each for them.
Yes - you do only pay $4 for them in Woolies.
Yes - she probably was awake at 4am this morning - having spent yesterday and last night picking and packing fruit for Woolies who will pay her 50c each for them.
Yes - you are entitled to drive that Jayco 24 footer at 70kph on this 110kph highway.
Yes - those 2 road trains that you won't pull over for, and let pass, are sitting awfully close to the back of your pride and joy.
Yes - that Marble Bar mechanic charging us $80 an hour was outrageous.
Yes - you think he'd be grateful for the work; living in the hottest, most remote town in Australia.
No - this remote Aboriginal community shop doesn't sell freshly baked New York Sourdough.
Yes - there is only frozen bread, it arrives once a week via the mail truck - from a bakery 350km away.
No - this remote roadhouse is not going to open 10 minutes early just because you haven't planned your trip properly.
Yes - the service was unfriendly.
Yes - it was ignorant of them not to open at 6.50 when you started honking the horn.
Yes - that outback hotel owner was a bit unfriendly.
No - I didn't want to buy even 1 beer in his pub when I have an esky full of cheap beer from the last town.
Yes - it was great he offers free camping at the back of his pub though.
Yes - I understand this Pilbara roadhouse has to haul water in from Karratha - 200km away.
Yes - I think it'll be Ok to wash the car and van from the roadhouse tap.
No - we'll wait and get fuel in Karratha and save 4c a litre with our shopper dockets.
Yes - it is a beautiful beach side camping spot.
No - I don't think the generator will be bothering the other campers. Desperate housewives finishes at 11pm and I'll turn it off then.
Yes - how does that town of eleven people expect to grow and develop if they won't even stock things like fresh Bok Choy.
Yes - they do look like a young couple very much in love.
Yes - they have got the best camping spot here.
No - I'm sure they wouldn't mind some company.
Yes - the fuel here is 1c a litre cheaper than the roadhouse on the outskirts of town.
No - I don't think anyone will mind us sticking out into the main street by 20 feet for the next ten minutes to save 80c.
No - I'm sure the solitary police officer at this border station won't mind us ringing the doorbell on the police residence at 7pm.
Yes - of course he knows the directions to the best fossicking grounds.
Yes - that barmaid at the Birdsville Pub did look a bit miffed when I mentioned the prawns could have been a bit fresher.
No - I'm not going to remove the extended towing mirrors once we've unhitched the fifth wheeler to go shopping.
No - I didn't clip him, he fell of his bike all by himself I think.
No - it is not blind arrogance.
Yes - I am entitled to special treatment that I wouldn't expect at home because (a) I am a Grey Nomad (b) I tow a caravan (c) It is my cultural birthright.
◄ The Complete
Guide To 4WD
The 4WD ►
To Outback Touring